The death of a loved one due to suicide is a cataclysmic event for loss survivors. Having lost both parents early to natural causes, I thought nothing could compare to the depth of sadness that followed. Until Adam.
Gillette, Wyoming where Adam lived, like all of Wyoming, is small town America. It boasts one funeral home, one Wal-Mart, a one-gate airport with one flight a day, and the one and only Frontier Auto Museum. After spending more time than we cared to in the first three places, the museum was a glow of light-heartedness after days of darkness. Inside, a collection of antique automobiles and artifacts from 1900 to 1950 fill the space, arranged like homes and shops in a vintage town, with an open mic night and a cafe serving malt shakes and bratwurst ten different ways.
The owner remembered Adam singing at open mic night. And we knew the moment we walked in that Adam's celebration of life would happen there.
With 100 or so people in person and 100 more online, we gathered for a beautiful, tearful, laughter-filled evening. Rachel, our Native American officiant and a friend of Adam, connected us to his spirit through her guiding words. His lifelong friends and family brought laughter to us with hilarious memories of Adam, and honored his guitar talent with live music. His daughter talked about holding toothpick races in the street gutters during thunderstorms and silly competitions to get her to go to bed. After the service we played music of his favorite artists crowdsourced from his friends and family.
And we said goodbye. Adam's ashes were laid to rest at a beautiful cemetery overlooking the city of Gillette, his name engraved on a big boulder next to a small stream.
Then we all went home, where nothing would ever be the same. Shock turned to grief. The cataclysm set in.
Seeking understanding and answers, I looked for one source of truth about suicide. Instead I found myriad associations, myriad suicide prevention programs, and almost no awareness among the general population, and very little evidence of success. Then I looked at the shocking statistics.
- Suicide is the second-leading cause of death among young adults.
- There are more gun deaths by suicide than homicide.
- The "suicide belt," western states with the highest suicide rates in the country, include Wyoming in first place at more than double the national average.
- 2023 had the highest suicide rate ever, with about 50,000 recorded suicide deaths, however estimates put it at two to three times that due to under reporting and misreporting.
Then a family member, my cousin and the person closest to my brother, sent me a book written by his high school friend, a leading expert on suicide. The book changed everything.
"Rethinking Suicide," the groundbreaking research by Craig Bryan (https://amzn.to/49dKacD), describes a pathway out of a problem that seems insurmountable. We have evidence-based methods for reducing suicide. Suicide can be prevented.
This book inspired our mission at Love You Adam. Dr. Bryan's work drove our fundraising focus on evidence-based suicide prevention therapy and research, and on transforming our understanding and improving outcomes for those at risk. So many lives will be saved, and so many people can have hope again.
Love,
Maggie
President & Founder
Love You Adam
